THE KEY TO CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIPS
I went to the river today with my husband, as we ironed out some issues we’ve been with I was overwhelmed to see that we have again, grown to another level and more so to the point how HE has grown.
I noticed how our language is so different with each other these days conscious, considered. We do not come from a place of blame, more from a place of understanding. We have to hold space for each and challenge each other in respectful way so we can learn what needs to be learned … and we are very conscious of our thinking, ensuring we do not start to play out any victim roles.
The awareness of our ego is far from perfect but it’s really good and we really do managed to quickly turn any issues around so we can see the lessons. 20 years together, time, or age does not create this peace. This is only created from the art of deep personal work and commitment to growing our conscious awareness.
… it’s not been easy though, changing habits that are so common and so conditioned into our culture! EXPECTATIONS, JUDGEMENT & BlAME were my power play especially, when I was in my 20’s. Drama would unfold over the simplest of stuff from, loading the dishwasher to cleaning the car!!
For me it was my choice to choose the conscious path 12 years go, but it wasn’t Harry’s! There was a lot of resistance on Harrys part, However, to keep us together in this relationship about 5 /6 years ago he saw that he too had to change old patterns and beliefs to keep up with my changes. I honour and respect him for making that choice, but I learned it had to be HIS choice in HIS time!!
Sometimes I just wished he’d catch up, but that was my ego! I realised a few years ago (when he learned to communicate his real feelings with me) that I was putting a lot of pressure on him. he said something very deep that has stayed with me…
“Lou, you’re amazing at what you do and I do respect it, I don’t fully understand it, but I do see how powerful it is, and I am learning and I’m trying to do this work, I watch you and I learn, but I feel that you don’t see how much I am changing , just when I’ve caught up to your next level of thinking, you’ve moved on and you expect me to understand and it’s hard for me to keep up sometimes’
I recall that moment so often…
wow this man really had been trying to grow his awareness and it was never quite enough for me…. I always expected him to be where I was and that can be the same for so many of us who learn and expect others to be where we are… but it’s unfair, harry would never expect me to code a website like he can why was I expecting him to learn about conscious awareness at the same rate as me!!
Every day I see his consciousness grow in his way, and he is In fact MY GREATEST TEACHER, his self awareness is inspiring. And I’m so honoured to walk this path with him.
… it’s not an easy path being the scientifically minded partner of a medicine woman who is always on a mission and loves change . And for me, it’s not always easy being with someone who Likes the comfort zone and normality… … but it’s effortless. it really is.
it’s worth shedding your need to be right, your need to be a victim , your need to win … and look at how you can grow … not just with partners but with all the people in our lives ….
thank you Ian Harris for being open to change, for allowing me to challenge you, for holding space for me as I shift for always doing your best and for all the love x
If you want to learn more about conscious communication with your partners, kids and friends join me on this 2 day workshop and if you can not make these dates let email email@example.com with the title ‘no more drama’ and we will keep you updated when we are next running this event