Speak YOUR Truth!
Flow Lessons of 2017:
We’ve all done it:
Said yes, when we mean no.
Said we’re fine, when we’re not.
Denying our own needs/feelings for the sake of others, is something many of us have been conditioned to do, to not be rude and not to make a fuss, to keep the peace by keeping our mouth shut.
So, how is this way of communicating (aka lying) working out for us humans? Does it lead to peace? Does it make life simple? Erm… nope! It never leads to anything other than being forever internally pissed off!
Is it really easier to harbour negative thoughts, pretend that someone hasn’t hurt you or stepped on your boundaries? Is it really easier to become a victim of our own ‘pussyness’ / inability to speak our truth and have an awkward conversation even if it might upset someone for a moment? Is it REALLY better to let a tiny issue go unresolved until it becomes a ‘thing’ in your mind that is most likely to have now grown 100% bigger than the time it originated?
Why do so many people find it so hard to say, ‘Sorry, I don’t want to’ or ‘this isn’t going to work for me’ or God forbid, actually asking for a pay rise or for help when they need it…. or say simply say thank you when someone offers them a compliment!
Somewhere along my life journey I learned to speak my truth and it was the most liberating lesson EVER… and, even in 2017, I have come to speak more of my truth, I have gone deeper and you know what… it brings peace to all and it removes the giant elephants in the room too!!
I learned to say, “Hey, I sense something isn’t quite right between us, shall we talk openly about this so we can resolve it?” Whats the alternative to this is? To sit there hating each other, making stuff up in your heads and fuelling a drama by bitching about it to anyone else other than the person you’re upset with?
The inability to speak my truth ran my world when I was younger. I used to dread it. From simple things like when I was asked what I wanted to drink, I’d just say, “Oh no, don’t worry about me”, and they would say, “Are you sure?” and I’d reply, “Oh ok then, maybe a glass of water”… when what I really wanted to say was “I would bloody love a nice strong cup of tea please!”
I learned to say, ‘Thank You’ when someone told me I looked nice.. rather than make something up to try to take the attention away from the fact I knew I looked nice! I learned to stand up in front of a group of bitching women and say, “this conversation is making me uncomfortable and I don’t want to be involved in this”… because what’s the alternative? Become one of them and feel like a horrible person when I closed my eyes at night??
There are a million situations – some big, some small – that happen in day-to-day life where we need to speak our truth and it’s liberating, not just for you but for everyone… it cuts out all the drama and it makes people feel more stable around you. Be brave enough to have the awkward questions, or to ask for feedback, to check in with people, make life simple…cut out the drama!
Remember how awkward it is when the shoe is on the other foot, when someone is trying to save your feelings and you just wish they would spit it out… BE THE PERSON WHO JUST SPITS IT OUT!!!
I have had my own big opportunities that have allowed me to “practice what I preach”. And so, I can speak from experience… It’s so much better to have the awkward conversations and resolve something rather than let it become a big thing that becomes heavy. More often than not, it’s the issues of people not speaking their truth and being honest in how they feel that creates conflict! And, more often than not, people don’t realise what they are doing.. so will keep on doing what they do… until someone shines a light on it.
When you make a decision to better your life, to change, shift or evolve you will find the Universe will send all sorts of opportunities to you. And, in this case, opportunities that allow you to speak your truth. This means that, in a gentle way, you will find it more comfortable in telling people what you need, being honest in how you feel, being clear with your own boundaries… it means not saying yes to someone when really, you mean no! It means being honest with the people in your life and having the confidence in yourself to have the awkward conversations before war breaks out. It means choosing your happiness and not following the path of the victim or the martyr, it means leading by example so that you and the people in your world can feel contentment and happiness!
I wish you well on bringing peace to your life and your soul!
Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes – Robin Sharma